What a terrible nightmare! First I dreamt I was mad enough to choose to bat first on a pitch cut only 2 minutes before the game started. Then I watched in despair as a procession of Chigwell's finest departed for next to nothing. When I finally went in to bat I found the attack moderate and the pitch so slow there was time for a fag break between the ball pitching and reaching the batsman - my perfect pitch! 13 untroubled runs later I was left stranded with the score on 61 all out! I can imagine I must have been crying out in my sleep at the pain of watching all our batsmen loop the ball carelessly into the air, and squealed in a kind of envious agony to see a team which was capable of pouching every catch offered.
It all seemed so real when we took to the field and managed one wicket and 3 dropped catches before St. John's Billericay completed the rout with a six over square leg.
Thankfully I woke up this morning and realised it was only the disturbed nocturnal workings of a frazzled mind, and I still had the joy of taking on St. John's to come. Better ring Nigel, make sure he's ready to be picked up... Hang on... the paper - it's the Guardian... that's not published on Sunday. Oh my god!! It's Monday! Which means... AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!